


Alive

by shittyfoureyes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Related, Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Fire, Hope, Love, M/M, One Shot, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 21:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19838671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyfoureyes/pseuds/shittyfoureyes
Summary: Levi finds new meaning in life.





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LavenderHedgie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderHedgie/gifts).



> Prompt: You make me feel alive. For lavenderhedgie

What is the point of it all?

Every day is just another battle, more news about who died this time, how and where and why. And titans- neverending droves of them, and no matter how many we kill, no many how many people die trying to kill them, their numbers never diminish.

Titans.

On that day there were titans. As I stood atop the corpse of one, overheated and drenched from its cloud of steam, surrounded by the sweet, meaty, sickening smell of blood, I looked back, and there he was.

The titan.

He stared at me with awe and admiration. Admiration? Was it really me he was looking at?

It was, and his admiring gaze was so earnest, so pure, that my heart pounded and jumped up into my throat, and I struggled to swallow it down. I've seen more dead titans than anyone within these walls. I've had more people stare at me than I can count. But... something happened this time.

Something... sparked.

-

He stares at me again with the same look of admiration, and my view is not obscured by the haze of a dead titan's steaming decay, but by cold, iron bars.

My heart is in my throat again.

Why?

There's passion gleaming in his eyes, but there's more. They glow green with bloodlust. Determination. His fire laps at me, and I feel it burning me from inside. I don't run from it. The light and the warmth of the flame that I know will undoubtedly lead me to my death tantalize me, yet like a moth, I can't stop myself from being drawn to it.

My mind and body are burning, but no one else seems to notice. The heat overpowers me.

Not bad.

-

His eyes are still fiery and determined when my boot collides with his jaw. He spits blood, and bile rises into my throat at what I've just done. What I have to do. With every blow I deliver, he shows no sign of defeat, his gaze is just as challenging and defiant as always while I continue to brutalize him. I grab a handful of his hair. I can feel the sweat of it between my fingers, the smell of it in my nostrils. My hand trembles when I pull his hair, wrenching his head up until his face is right next to mine. Our cheeks are nearly touching. I hear his ragged breaths. My heart is racing, and I want to stop, but he doesn't surrender just yet. He accepts my brutality bravely and without complaint.

I can't see his eyes now.

I hope the fire has not gone out.

He's a titan. Our sworn enemy. Why should I care if he lives or dies?

My heart is aching, and I'm sick with guilt.

That's why.

-

"Do you hate me?"

He flinched when I sat down next to him. I'm close enough to feel the warmth of his body. I catch myself wanting to put my arm around him and apologize, but my heart clenches and my stomach flutters when he responds to my question before I can.

"No. I understand."

He looks sad, almost sheepish. He looks up at me with those expressive green eyes, and my heart stops altogether. He's bruised and bandaged.

He's ours.

_Mine._

-

There's an explosion. A sound like thunder. A cloud of steam and dust and smoke. A flash of heat and light and many voices shouting. Before I realize, I'm standing in front of a titan. Protecting him. I've been to hell and back, seen the worst terrors imaginable. Putting myself in constant mortal danger is the sum of my existence. Though somehow for the first time in all these years, I'm... afraid.

And I realize it's not him I'm afraid of. It's the sight of blades drawn and ready to strike that that scares me.

Sheer, cold terror.

I have to protect him.

I _will_ protect him.

I have to survive.

-

Every time Eren is in danger, I'm terrified.

Eren is always in danger.

I'm not always there.

I don't care about the Survey Corps. I don't care about being captain. I don't care about the goddamned titans or the government or the fate of humanity.

What's the point of anything if I can't be there to protect him? What's the point of living if he isn't there?

-

My blood is rushing through my veins. My heart is racing.

I've flown into the flame, and it consumed me, wholly and utterly, until there was nothing left. I was ash, and through his fire, I'm reborn.

Rain is pouring from the blackened sky. The pounding of the torrent against the roof sounds like horses galloping into battle.

There is a titan.

A flash of lightning illuminates his face. A deafening crack of thunder echoes off the stone walls and then rolls away into the distance, reverberating, drowning out the sound of the falling rain. It drowns out his voice along with it. I can't hear him, but I can feel the words he breathes onto my skin.

_I love you._

The wind howls through the cracks in the window frame, and it brings with it the fragrance of wet dirt and grass and stone.

The air is thick and heavy. It's hot.

Drops of rain violently pelt the glass, the galloping horses kicking up pebbles behind them as they charge. The parched flowers of summer drink their fill, brown leaves and grass returning to the green of life with each generous swallow.

His body is so hot, and it burns inside me. The heat rolls off our bodies, sweat pours from us. His stuttering breath on my skin feels like he's opened a furnace in front of me, and his every movement stokes the fire. Every thrust, every breath, a new wave of heat.

I'm on fire again, and once more, I turn to ash.

Liquid heat flows into me, and with it, he fills me with life, risen once more in blazing glory from the dead grey of the past.

That is his gift to me.

_Life._


End file.
